On losing all but one of my Favorite videos

i was chatting recently with a friend, commiserating about the loss of many of her favorites, when I thought to check my own. To my astonishment I found that all but one lone survivor had disappeared. The reasons for this remain a mystery. I told myself that it must have been some system failure on this site, since clearly all "my" favorites are stored on "their" servers. Almost certainly I will never know what happened. Clearly it was different from those deletions which do sometimes occur, since the blitz took everything and the survivor came from the same organization as many of those that I lost. And this was not a site-wide destruction of these clips. They remain in others' folders.

My first response was annoyance and outrage. I had enjoyed all those clips and expected to do so again at some point in future. I had taken care to be quite selective, once I realized that I could save material to a favorites folder. Some were quite special in their way, not just because they excited me. Some were very distinctive, with unusual photography or performers or sexual activity, and it may not be easy to find them again. Some were recommended by friends, a gesture I love, so that memory would be lost as well.

Then I thought some more about this site and its terms of trade as it were. It offers the most amazing range of material, for free, and other useful services, like search, friendship and messaging. So its obligations to me as a user are unclear. In some sense it is not my stuff which has disappeared. It is more plausibly theirs, and arguably theirs to withdraw or just lose at any point. I laid some kind of claim to the things I liked, as if I was sticking tabs on a window display, but the store owner presumably has the right to ignore my feelings and change the display at will. Or maybe the analogy is with a library. I may feel that some books are my favorites, but there is no obligation on the library to have a copy just for me.

But something went missing, almost a part of me, as I feel those clips said something about me and my sexual preferences. I had selected them with that in mind and rejected others as not me, or not the me I wanted to project here.

At this point I started to ask myself what I would really miss and to my surprise I could remember only 10 or 15 of the clips. I remember the genres very well - female masturbation and lesbian sex, with one or two which might not fit that category exactly. This is in itself was a shock. Surely if these clips really turned me on, then I ought to know what they were ? But in a vast candy store this turns out not to be the case. So much is so easily available that your own little drawer of favorites gets lost in the noise, I guess. So I have started to search for the clips I remain - and no doubt it will be interesting to see which ones I actually remember having. "Ah yes, you liked that one, didn't you ? The rimming was particularly delicious there. See where her fingers are at the same time. OMG."

Several friends have said that the search for new favorites will be fun in itself and of course they are right. It was with a real sense of pleasure and relief that I found one of my deep favorites this morning and masturbated with it to celebrate. It remains for me a wonderful clip. The search will now continue.

I also find that I may be even more selective in future. As my fingers hover over that save to favorites button, I will ask myself is that is really good enough to save, and to record independently as saved. I can think of a number of ways to do this and unless the entire site blows or is hacked to death by foreign powers, then my clips should be findable in future. Furthermore clearly some of my past favorites did not really linger in my memory, despite the enthusiasm with which I had once viewed them. So unless the clip really shouts at me, Save me now ! perhaps I should wait and see. Of course some people clearly save pretty much everything they watch, but that is not me and it seems to somewhat contradictory. If you have no real idea what you have, because you have 1700 clips in there, then why not just search for something similar in the main candy store ?

Lastly I realize now, in a way that I did not when I first started to visit this site, that having some interesting clips which reflect my tastes is a good idea if you want to make friends. I certainly scrutinize what people have stored away and often walk on. Presumably others do the same with me, or would have tried and failed, since I kept them restricted to friends. That has now changed. We shall see what difference it makes. At least if it happens again - does lightning really strike twice in the same folder ? - I may be able to ask more people, Do you remember what I had ?

For those who offered solace in this matter, thank you. As you will see it has made me somewhat creative.