A few thoughts on respect

One of the most curious aspects in the behaviour of certain male members here is the casual manner with which they use words such as "slut", "bitch" and "whore" when referring to their female colleagues, as though totally divorced from the wider social dimension. It is almost as though they were abandoned as infants in a distant forest and left to grow up without any grasp of the consequences of their own vocabulary or ideology.

I've written before about the fact that, despite this being a site dedicated to pornography, we must not turn a blind eye to anyone treating other members here with anything less than the respect they deserve. This applies in particular to women, since they face both the underlying sexism of modern society and the moralistic approbation heaped upon any of their gender who dares express even the scantiest interest in one of humanity's oldest fiction-forms.

This viewpoint is scarcely revolutionary; indeed, It is at its very core the simplest expression of modern manners. However, the fact that it still requires to be stated so categorically shows how far we still have to go before achieving a truly balanced society.

เผยแพร่โดย rodent1
10 ปี ที่ผ่านมาแล้ว
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modelmaker
Regrettably the old phrase " it's a mans world " comes to mind and it's been that way from the beginning. Mans attitude towards women tends to be influenced by their parents and it only needs one "father" to have had a bad experience with a woman and he'll pass that attitude on to his sons and so it'll go on. I don't think there is an answer as history has shown time after time.
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rodent1
ถึง fluffie : Good to hear. Sadly, not everyone agrees with us.
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fluffie
We agree !
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nadine_resille
i completly agree with you
kisses
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zebzjuice
I heartily agree with your observations.
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krpica
ถึง Betty4You : Dear sir,
how you can to explain us that a lot of women / females applying much higher hating or derogating against men / males not
only through badly words i.e. men pig, shit balls etc. even in sex rasism as real action in many life situations in many fields
so at works, in education...
Today exsist a lot of feminist racist in action nether less than also implemented male rasism. Whole human history has a
many examples of both rasism in action through the centuries and that struggle between them is very interesting like
history of wars and battles where a women is primar subject and a lot of stupid males was killed after involving in females
or cunts controlled sex games over bed where they females posses imaginable powerty above losted males...... I wonna to
say that between gendrers and sexes or females and males always playing the same game .... which sex is dominant....
which sex is winner.... conclusion is various and destiny tell us that sexes tending to submass opposite sexes as naturality
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I hate this dirty talking "Users", too.
No Gentleman Agreement avaiable in this sick World -
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rodent1
ถึง Perlican : Interesting, missshelly1969 also got the wrong end of the stick with a comment I made, suggested I didn't practice what I preached in regards to respecting women and asked me never to contact her again. I apologised for any offence caused, albeit through a misunderstanding, and walked away.

Btw, her exploitation of Down's Syndrome in such a rant is something I find particularly distasteful.
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Perlican
ถึง rodent1 : I entirely agree that objectionable behaviour should be the subject of scorn. I had not realised this blog was written by you but thought it was by Missshelly, who, when I wrote to her in an IM that the messages system was now working again, a system about which she was complaining and thus I thought she would find welcome, she unleashed a rant about how I was ignorant, should have said Hi first, and then told me I must be a five year old Down's syndrome child. I don't see much 'respect' in that - and as she immediately blocked all possibility of reply, I chose to comment on what I thought was her blog. Her false response convinces me she's a fraud....so I said so.
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rodent1
ถึง Perlican : Sorry, are you lambasting Gibgazz's girlfriend for refusing to turn a blind eye to objectionable behaviour?
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Perlican
Pathetic excuse for a woman. A fraud
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gibgazz
Having been on here for some time now, as a man of course, surfing around and discovering, that this site is not only about porn, but loads of very interesting subjects, giving comments and reading comments and ignoring very stupid and derogatory commnets. It wasn't until my girlfriend joined just a little while ago, that I realized, how politeness gets lost especialy towards women. She is very strong and patient, take my hat off to her. I could and will learn a thing or two from her. While chatting, we both get the idea that some men are unable to read, fuck knows how they are able to write. In her wisdom she put one bloke in his place and was blocked immediatly, good riddance to bad company. As always, have fun all, and stay polite.
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Monty71
Completely agree. It is the basis of any relationship. Well written.
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PhotomanBeds
Totally agree, there are some ignorant and depraved people on here, respect and courtesy are free but so many people seem to be unable to even touch the lower end of common decency when chatting on here. I guess that is what the block button is for. :wink:

Keep up your standards.

Best regards

Tony
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missshelly1969
Thank you... It seems that men show no restraint these days with calling people whatever they want and saying things which are so disrespectful. Seems amazing that men can do this as the first thing they say to women... Like "you look like such a slut.. Etc, etc." All charm is lost it would seem! But I guess that's why so many men come to these sites as they cannot find a woman :smile: probably its own just rewards haha
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rodent1
HookerLover replied to my comment with "Your an idiot" (the real idiot is the one who cannot spell "you're"), and he blocked me. I see that his status for the past 12 days has been "SLUTTY TRASHY WHORES TRAMPS SLUTS BIMBOS PROSTITUTES ONLY", so I am pleased to have rid of him.
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rodent1
An invitation I was delighted to accept. I do not believe many of the interactions here - especially the calendar - would have been possible were my many female friends to feel uncomfortable in this corner of Xhamster.
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rodent1
I am glad you found it of interest, Céline.

As an example, I am currently hosting an advent calendar, featuring 24 of this site's female members. Today, I felt moved to delete two comments left by someone calling themselves HookerLover: the first addressed one of the women as a "yummy slut", whilst the other told a contributor "the more your looking like a slutty whore the more I love you baby!!".

What someone does on their own page is up to them. On my page, we play by my rules. I PM'd him afterwards: "Please do not refer to the women who have generously given of their time to appear in my calendar as "sluts" or "whores". We treat people with respect on my page, and not with the incautious vocabulary of an addled adolescent."

Sadly, he is one of many here who appear never to have entered adulthood.
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ถึง rodent1 : Yes you are right. Unfortunately some very rude do not know decency and good manners, and it is an easy game for them because they hide behind a profile, things would be different as you said so well if we could meet users like in coffee .
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rodent1
ถึง rat-asskisser-club : Precisely. I know women here who post photos of themselves with the stated hope that people will use them as masturbatory aids and then post videos of the results, others who invite members to call them 'sluts' or 'whores'. That's their choice. For everyone else, show restraint and infer their receptiveness to such language.
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rodent1
ถึง maggymay : Knowing how strict the Holy Mother can be, I am honoured to receive her blessing.
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rodent1
ถึง amateurgirl : I believe my comment immediately below addresses that point, Lynn. Your profile expresses your own sexuality very well. My concern here is those who find such commentary upsetting.
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rodent1
Thank you so much for your thorough and thoughtful feedback, Betty. I shall attempt to respond in kind.

If a woman enjoys verbal or even physical degredation as part of her sexual life, I have no problem whatsoever with her exploring that aspect of her psyche. Xhamster also provides a vehicle for such exploration, albeit on a mostly virtual level, and some women here invite other members to engage with that fantasy dialogue; again, it's their choice and I respect that.

However, I believe it is completely out of order to assail a woman with sexual commentary (some of which may verge upon the threatening) or to issue sexual demands, when the only indicator of potential interest from her has been listing 'female' as part of her profile.

We should treat Xhamster in the way you would meeting people in a cafe. If the introduction goes well, then she may indeed agree to step into a more private area, with a consequent increase in intimacy. On the other hand, walk up to a total stranger and verbally abuse her or ask if she'd like you to piss in her mouth (sadly, I'm not making any of this up) and you should be exposed as the creep you are. It's a question of common decency.
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This is a very complex subject I am a person who I think has an open mind and respect all sexual practices when they are done well on in agreement between the partners we are actually a porn site and if a woman agrees to be insulted during their sexual games Bdsm / Sm, then ok , because humiliation is part of a game and must remain in the context of the role play . Unfortunately it often happens that these words ' slut , whore ' are said in a derogatory way. The woman is often perceived as a sex object dominated .
Sexism can also lead to machismo and misogyny , which means contempt, domination and hatred of the opposite sex .
Discrimination based on sex is based on the traditions , cultures , religions, ideologies and behaviors that pose a difference in status and dignity between man and woman. .
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rodent1
I'm pleased to found it of interest, Ioes. I've written several other blogs on related topics, which you may also wish to check out. Take care. -- Steve
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Good read, and I agree with you. Thank you for sharing. :smile:
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rodent1
ถึง amateurgirl : If a woman indicates she enjoys being talked to that way, great. But to simply assume it, that's wrong.
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rat-asskisser-club
Role playing, peoples personal opinion, personal tastes etc. The keyword here is "respect"
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You have the full backing of the "Holy Mother" on this issue.
Although "She" does believe it's a free world and everyone in it has the right to be individual and have their own points of view. Their own like and dislikes, the world would be a much better place if everyone showed a little compassion and a little respect.
The terminology from around the world is something that should be taken into consideration, also.
It's when it gets personal.
Great work and all the best
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Well in principle I agree to what you say and its ideal thinking...However, I also think that people should be free to think and respond as they like without control... as long as it does not cause harm. Also, lets not forget that some women like to be treated like "Whores". I for one do not get bothered with...as I term it "dumb comments" and I just choose to ignore those people; and equally I respond to the people who I share the same mentality with. To summarize my bla bla bla I would say "I focus on what I like and ignore the rest" ^_^
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